BY PRIYANKA ARIBINDI, BRIAN BEUTLER

& CROOKED MEDIA

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

—Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) to reporters about the murder of Jamal Khashoggi

ALMOST BREAKING

Special Counsel Robert Mueller will file a sentencing memo with the court this evening, which will provide an update on the conduct and cooperation of Michael Flynn—Trump’s first national security adviser—who pleaded guilty last year to lying to the FBI about discussing sanctions with Russia during the transition. We will bring you the details tomorrow.

IT'S BOTH THE COVERUP AND THE MURDER

Even Senate Republicans now acknowledge that the Trump administration is helping the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and its crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman (MBS), cover up the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Washington Post columnist and U.S. resident.

They reached that conclusion after Senate leaders received a briefing from CIA Director Gina Haspel, who has listened to audio of Khashoggi’s killing, and whose agency has concluded that MBS ordered the assassination.

The White House initially sought to deny senators this briefing, and instead sent Defense Secretary James Mattis and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to Capitol Hill last week to whitewash the Saudi role in Khashoggi’s killing. That stonewalling effort backfired, as infuriated senators lined up to support a resolution to end U.S. support for the Saudi war in Yemen.

The classified materials Haspel presented convinced even Republicans that Trump is committed to protecting MBS and the Saudi government from accountability. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), one of Trump’s most pitiful loyalists, broke ranks from the administration: “If [Pompeo and Mattis] were in a Democratic administration, I would be all over them for being in the pocket of Saudi Arabia,” Graham admitted, saying the quiet part loud. Graham mocked Mattis, who last week denied the existence of a “smoking gun” tying MBS to the murder, telling reporters “there’s a smoking saw”—a reference to the bone saw the Saudi hit squad used to dismember Khashoggi’s body.

Retiring Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, also contradicted the administration with an assessment that “If the crown prince went in front of a jury, he would be convicted in 30 minutes.”

From Brian: We should absorb Graham’s and Corker’s comments in the context of rumblings from dozens of House Democrats who are apparently nervous about conducting aggressive oversight next year. As much as any story, the Khashoggi coverup underscores why these Democrats are terribly misguided, and feeding President Trump’s efforts to portray oversight as “presidential harassment.” We still don’t know exactly why the Trump administration is engaging in the coverup. Is it because of Trump’s business ties to Saudi Arabia? Jared Kushner’s? Is the president accepting bribes? It could be any or all of the above, and we need to know.  

A significant hack targeting the National Republican Congressional Committee compromised the accounts of four senior aides, whom the hackers reportedly surveilled for months. Though the NRCC discovered the breach in April, officials there did not alert senior Republican House leaders, who only became aware of it on Monday, when Politico asked them for comment. The NRCC said it concealed the attack to protect its internal investigation. When the emails inevitably leak, we at Crooked Media will be first in line to comb through the clues and discover the pizza-related sex-trafficking scheme they are probably running.”

Two women in North Carolina’s ninth district have admitted that McCrae Dowless, a Republican consultant with a history of vote tampering, paid them to collect absentee ballots from voters and return them to him. The congressional campaign of Republican Mark Harris is currently at the center of an election-fraud scandal that may force the state to call a new election.

A forensic examination has revealed that EJ Bradford Jr., a black man killed by police in Alabama on Thanksgiving, was shot in the back three times as he was directing shoppers at a mall to safety, while officers responded to reports of gunshots. Police originally blamed Bradford, who was carrying a weapon legally, for starting a confrontation, and even publicly identified him as the gunman, before the local police department retracted the claims. A good guy with a gun tried to stop a bad guy with a gun, and police killed the good guy. Thanks, again, NRA.

Roger Stone has invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination in response to a request from the Senate Judiciary Committee for an interview and documents related to Russian election meddling. We wish he would invoke the fifth in all aspects of his life and never speak out loud again.

Attorneys general in Maryland and Washington, DC have filed subpoenas seeking records from the Trump Organization and the IRS as part of a lawsuit accusing Trump of violating the emoluments clause and using his presidency for personal profit. But nah, that doesn’t sound like something Trump would do.

Meat producer JBS Tolleson has recalled 12 million pounds of raw beef nationwide after hundreds of people across 25 states contracted salmonella. Between this and the romaine holiday, it appears we are faced with no choice other than to eat the flesh of those we love.

The Dow dropped almost 800 points and we don’t know why, but it might have something to do with President Deals tweeting threats to reignite a trade war with China from bed. Also the Dow is a stupid economic indicator that barely tells us anything about the health of the economy and it’s silly that the media always reports on it. Thank you for coming to this TED Talk.

Michael Avenatti blamed his family for his decision not to run for president in 2020. (Seriously!) Joe Biden, on the other hand, says he is the “most qualified” among potential 2020 candidates, and will decide whether or not to run in the next two months. Wow, white men sure aren’t great at words!

We thought we had seen all there was to see from Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas’s wedding festivities. We were wrong. The pair released more shots, including ones from their two ceremonies, and you know you want to click so just do it already. (From Brian: By “we,” Priyanka meant “I.”)  (From Travis: Brian, love is a beautiful thing and it’s incredibly sad your heart is too blackened to enjoy such a wonderful occasion. Also, I got married in a car.)

The New York Times described Republican efforts in Wisconsin and Michigan to strip power from their Democratic successors as “pushing legislative action to shore up strength before Democrats move in.” This is not how the Times would describe nakedly illegitimate, anti-democratic power grabs in foreign countries. Turns out gray ladies are just as bad at words as white men!

Some men on Wall Street think the only way to avoid sexually harassing their female colleagues is to discriminate against them—including by not working with, supporting, or interacting with them at all. Cool plan, guys.

Too much food and family time leading up to the holidays? Forgot how to do your job or be a functioning human being? We get it. Being a person can be a grind. Alas, there is hope!

Stumptown Coffee subscriptions bring the good stuff straight to your door twice a month, and it’s guaranteed to help get you through every mind-numbing meeting on your calendar until you can officially check out for the holidays. Keep every bag for yourself, or hand one over as a last minute gift when your weird uncle decides to bring his surprise new girlfriend to your family celebration. Get 20% off your subscription of Hair Bender for a year, with code WHATADAY →

Sri Lanka faces a constitutional crisis after its Court of Appeals barred its prime minister and his cabinet from performing their official duties. The ruling follows the prime minister’s refusal to step down despite losing two no-confidence votes in the last month, and, according to the judge, if the current administration refuses to relinquish office, it would cause “irreparable damage,” even though it would leave the country without a functional government. A little nightmare fuel for those who like to daydream about how our current Trump predicament might end. Season’s greetings!!!!

Former Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) served in Congress longer than anyone in American history. He has some wise thoughts about how to fix it.

Read →

Trump’s large adult sons are doing social media again:

• Eric Trump accused George Conway of showing “utter disrespect” to his wife, Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway, by publicly opposing the Trump administration. We’re not quite sure where daddy sleeping with Stormy Daniels while Melania raised their newborn son falls on the “utter disrespect” scale, but it’s definitely up there. Also, it turns out Trump’s relentless bad faith is congenital.

• Not to be outdone, Don Jr. ‘grammed the new most pathetic thing we’ve ever seen:

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