BY PRIYANKA ARIBINDI, BRIAN BEUTLER
& CROOKED MEDIA

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

—Esteemed invertebrate Marco Rubio

RE-MILITARIZED ZONE

North Korea has reportedly suspended talks with South Korea and has threatened to cancel the upcoming summit between Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump because of U.S.-South Korea military exercises. “We are aware of the South Korean media report," said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. "The United States will look at what North Korea has said independently, and continue to coordinate closely with our allies.” This story is developing, as it has been for half a century.

ENHANCED CAPITULATION TECHNIQUES, PART II 

Multiple Democrats broke ranks Tuesday and announced their intent to help Republicans confirm Gina Haspel, President Trump's designated CIA director, even as Haspel declines to call torture immoral.

Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA), the vice chair of the Senate intelligence committee, kicked things off today after receiving a letter from Haspel, in which she said that the CIA should have never implemented the Bush-era torture program—largely restating her public testimony last week.

Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND), who's facing a challenging re-election campaign, followed suit, as did Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL). Between them and Sens. Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Joe Donnelly (D-IN), who announced their support last week, Haspel’s confirmation is all but assured.

From Brian: These Senate Democrats had the power to deny Haspel the CIA directorship—to make a powerful statement that the U.S. government has at long last decided it will not promote architects and leaders of the torture regime, even under GOP rule. They even had cover from Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), who was tortured as a POW in Vietnam and opposes Haspel. But they declined to do so. Bafflingly, Heitkamp even cited McCain's principled stance in her statement announcing that she will be voting a different way. Though most Democrats will surely vote against confirming Haspel, vulnerable Democrats and party leaders have apparently not learned anything about how politics has changed in the past decade or two.

DON'T BOO, VOTE

Today was the deadline for President Trump to file his annual financial disclosure. That disclosure should itemize the reimbursements he made to Michael Cohen to silence Stormy Daniels and any other former mistresses.

As of send time, the White House claimed Trump had filed the disclosure, but was withholding it from public release pending review.

Earlier in the day, Trump met with Senate Republicans. They declined to confront him about the White House's refusal to apologize for mocking John McCain's brain cancer, or (more importantly) about Trump’s business accepting hundreds of millions of dollars in loans from China while the president bails out a sanctions-evading Chinese company, ZTE. America first!

Republicans not holding Trump accountable for his corruption isn’t surprising at this point, and if they maintain control of the House and Senate after November, we can expect at least two more years of this. So, you know, www.vote.org →

Palestinians are burying the 60 people killed by Israeli forces while protesting the relocation of the U.S. embassy in Israel to Jerusalem yesterday. They have also recalled their U.S. envoy, Husam Zomlot. President Trump’s U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley blamed the violence on Palestinians and Iranians before walking out of a security council session when the Palestinian envoy began to speak. No-bel! No-bel!

Faced with a housing crisis, Seattle approved a new “head tax” of $275 per employee on its largest companies in order to finance low-income dwellings. This will affect 500 total companies, including Amazon, Starbucks, Nordstrom, Apple, Google, and Facebook, accounting for three percent of the city’s private sector. Washington state’s constitution prohibits income taxes.

The Trump administration is considering using military bases in Texas to house immigrant minors separated from their families by federal agents after crossing the U.S.-Mexico border illegally, or are caught travelling unaccompanied. Maybe this is the “whatever” White House Chief of Staff John Kelly was talking about.

Emails show that EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt demanded and received around-the-clock armed protection on his first day at the agency—completely undermining his contention that his absurd security detail is responsive to actual threats.

Trump’s nominee to lead the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation happens to be the brother in law of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and his wife, Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao—a detail that the White House's official statement conveniently omitted. PBGC insures private sector pensions, and McConnell’s brother in law appears wildly unqualified to administer the agency. Spoils system! Throwback!

Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance announced that his office will stop prosecuting marijuana possession and smoking cases starting August 1, 2018.

Disgraced former congressman Blake Farenthold has a new gig—a $160,000 lobbying job for the Calhoun Port Authority. Farenthold, who is independently wealthy, also told ABC News he won’t pay back the $84,000 in public funds he used to settle a sexual harassment complaint while he was in office. What a guy.

Researchers have uncovered two hidden pages in Anne Frank’s diary, which she had pasted over with brown paper.  

Twitter is hiding “bad tweets” now. As of publication, 100 percent of tweets are hidden.

On Pod Save the People: DeRay, Sam, Clint, and Brittany discuss the news we’ve been overlooking, including marijuana arrests in NYC and depictions of abortion in mainstream culture.

Listen →

Crooked Media is currently divided in the great Yanny vs. Laurel debate.

The two private lawyers representing Missouri Governor Eric Greitens, who’s facing impeachment proceedings, are charging taxpayers $660 an hour. This fucking guy.

Can you imagine anything more exciting than the prospect of Michael Cohen’s entire Blackberry archive seeing the light of day? We can. Political leaders, activists, and celebs are about to turn up at the ACLU Conference in D.C. on June 10-12. Fend off FOMO and learn more here →

Some personal news? Trump’s adviser Kellyanne Conway said on Fox News that she is expecting personnel changes at the White House as the result of the leaks President Trump admonished on Twitter yesterday. The White House is now empty. What a relief.

We found the best account on Twitter.

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