BY PRIYANKA ARIBINDI, BRIAN BEUTLER
& CROOKED MEDIA

Monday, March 26, 2018

—Tiffany Haddish, recounting a party she and Beyoncé attended

OK FINE LET'S TALK ABOUT STORMY REAL QUICK

22.1 million people watched Stormy Daniels’ interview with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes last night, the highest viewership for the program since Barack and Michelle Obama appeared on the show in 2008, which makes sense because the vibe was so similar. What did we learn?

• Daniels says she was threatened: In 2011, shortly after she spoke with a tabloid, Daniels claims she was approached in a parking lot by a man she had never seen who said: ’Leave Trump alone. Forget the story.’ He then looked at Daniels’s infant daughter and said, ‘That’s a beautiful little girl. It’d be a shame if something happened to her mom.’

• Trevor Potter, a former Republican Federal Election Committee chairman, said he thinks Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, may have violated federal election laws. Potter also suggested that Special Counsel Robert Mueller could use Cohen’s legal exposure in the Daniels matter as leverage to flip him in the Russia investigation.

ANYWAYS, the White House denied the claims. Trump has been notably silent. And Daniels is now suing Cohen for defamation while her lawyer told the Today Show’s Savannah Guthrie that she can describe the president’s “genitalia.” WE DESERVE A BETTER WORLD.

MARCH LIKE EVERYONE'S WATCHING

At least 1.2 million people participated in the March For Our Lives this Saturday in Washington, D.C. and all over the world. Led by the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, protesters carried homemade signs and spoke to the urgent need for common-sense gun control. The marches were also an opportunity for organizers hoping to channel engagement and outrage into votes. HeadCount, which has helped register voters at Pod Tours America events this year, registered almost 5,000 people to vote during the protests. Now a group of high school students in Madison are marching the 50 miles to Paul Ryan’s district to highlight his failure to act on gun reform.

We have a lot of work to do to take back the Congress. But the challenge doesn’t stop there. As Brian Beutler noted today, passing common-sense proposals, like a ban on assault weapons or stricter background checks, will require 60 votes in the Senate as long as the legislative filibuster remains in place.That’s what happened in 2013 after Sandy Hook, when Republicans like Marco Rubio (joined by four Democrats) blocked a bipartisan compromise bill in the Senate. This may be the fight that Stoneman Douglas students—and all of us—have to take up next.

Read more from Brian Beutler’s latest →

This morning, the Trump administration expelled 60 Russian intelligence officers and diplomats from the U.S. in response to Russia’s role in the poisoning of a former Russian spy in Britain—an incident that has prompted similar retaliation from many of our NATO allies. DO NOT SAY BON VOYAGE.

The Federal Trade Commission announced that Facebook is under investigation for its data practices, which is crazy, because they seem like they have got a really good handle on it.

Wisconsin GOP Governor Scott Walker and other Republicans are trying to change laws governing when special elections must be held after a court ordered him to hold special elections to fill two vacant seats. Wisconsin’s Senate and Assembly are planning an extra session to take up a bill to rewrite election law, and Walker has already said he would sign it. It is a blatant effort to stop an election Walker is afraid the GOP will lose.

ICE detained and deported a U.S. army veteran who served two tours in Afghanistan.

White House attorneys are investigating two massive loans made to Jared Kushner’s family business and whether or not they violate criminal laws or ethics regulations.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is introducing legislation to legalize hemp and remove it from the list of controlled substances. After a long day, McConnell and his wife, Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao, like to relax by putting on a record and enjoying some rope.

Who bit Beyoncé?! That’s what everyone’s asking after reading an anecdote about the star in a GQ profile of staff-favorite human being Tiffany Haddish. From Keep It! host Ira Madison: “Gumshoes, the #KeepIt detectives will try to solve The Case of the Beyoncé Biter this week”

“We need to stand up for what’s right, and it doesn’t seem like the government’s going to do it. So it has to be the kids.”

—Jacob Hamilton, 10, Alliance, Ohio

Hear more from the people Jon, Jon, and Tommy met at the March For Our Lives in D.C. on Pod Save America →

Linda Brown, the woman who was at the center of the landmark Supreme Court case Brown v Board of Education to end school segregation as a child, died today at age 75.

Read →

ANOTHER Republican lawmaker, Rep. Ryan Costello (PA), announced that he won’t be seeking re-election in 2018, bringing the count of House Republican incumbents not seeking re-election this year up to 44. Pennsylvania’s newly redistricted map makes Costello’s district, PA-06, lean likely Democratic, according to Cook Political Report.

NFL cheerleaders and players have VERY different expectations of conduct, as evidenced by a lawsuit from a former New Orleans Saints cheerleader who claims she was unfairly dismissed because of sexist rules.

Among the rules discovered by The New York Times that apply to cheerleaders but not players:

• An anti-fraternization policy that requires cheerleaders to avoid contact with players in-person or online

• A policy requiring cheerleaders to block EVERY player on all social media (there are over 2,000 in the NFL)

• A policy requiring cheerleaders immediately leave any restaurant if a player arrives or is already present

According to the team, the rules “are designed to protect cheerleaders from players preying on them,” which is a great way to hold women accountable for the misconduct of men. Give me an “E”! Give me a “W”! What’s that spell? Ew.

The new Silicon Valley intro throws shade at Facebook: